I was 30 before I really began to deal with the low self esteem issue in my life. Up till then I had hidden it under aggressive or passive-aggressive behaviour. I was excruciatingly unhappy, with very low self esteem and no confidence at all. People called me 'strong' but I was dying on the inside. I had no real close, healthy relationships. Life was awkward and lonely. I was suffering from massive rejection, that was eating away at my soul.
I wanted to write about rejection because so many of us experience it to some degree. I want people to come into a place of freedom as I have (and still on the journey too). At it's worst it cripples the inside of you so much that you never have an anxiety free relationship. It's a terrible thing that causes us to isolate ourselves, and it destroys our self esteem and robs us of our identity.
'It's hopeless, what's the point?'
'I've lost my enthusiasm and my confidence'
'When is this going to end'
'I can't do this anymore'
Discouragement can be one of the biggest killers that stops our efforts, goals and dreams in their tracks. It is the antithesis of confidence and progress, and often creeps up on us unaware. The ironic thing about discouragement is that we are operating in the opposite of the very mindset we need to pull ourselves out of it.
'Somebody help me sleep!' How many of us have said that lying awake for hours on end, head buzzing, body rigid, overstimulated and exhausted?
There have been many articles written about sleep and how to get good quality sleep. Myself I can turn into a zombie if I have less than 10 hours sleep in two days. I'm strictly an 8 hours per night kind of gal. Overseas trips are an absolute nightmare for me. At the moment with a toddler living in the house and a slightly stressed hubby who isn't sleeping well either, I'm a little sleep challenged some days.
Less Stressed, Yes Please!
Now I know that we've all surfed the net and talked to our friends about how we can be less stressed when we're working moms whether outside or inside the home. You might be thinking, oh no not another blog on the subject. There is method to my madness however, and it is this...
...we all get really slack about it and fall back into the same old rut of letting the world around us dictate our stress levels, so we need reminding that we can do something about being less stressed.
An inner vow is a self-directed killer promise resulting from difficulty or pain.
I want to share a bit of a personal story because I really hope it will help you too. Many years ago I used to write short stories and poetry. The words used to flow out of me. It seems over the years my creativity in writing has all but died and at times it’s a real struggle just to write a good blog. I was discussing this the other day with my daughter while we were driving, when all of a sudden I had a picture flash across my vision, of me tearing up in anger, the book I wrote my stories and poems in. Someone had said something negative and hurtful about my writing poetry and I silently made a vow that I wouldn’t write anymore.I realised that making that inner vow about writing had shut down my creative ability and robbed my confidence as a writer – something I had really enjoyed doing. I admit to having a bit of a cry over it, sobbing all over the steering wheel while trying to drive. I’ve learnt though over the years to let things like that vow go and to forgive myself and the other person for what had happened.