killer vows

An inner vow is a self-directed killer promise resulting from difficulty or pain.
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I want to share a bit of a personal story because I really hope it will help you too. Many years ago I used to write short stories and poetry. The words used to flow out of me. It seems over the years my creativity in writing has all but died and at times it’s a real struggle just to write a good blog. I was discussing this the other day with my daughter while we were driving, when all of a sudden I had a picture flash across my vision, of me tearing up in anger, the book I wrote my stories and poems in. Someone had said something negative and hurtful about my writing poetry and I silently made a vow that I wouldn’t write anymore.I realised that making that inner vow about writing had shut down my creative ability and robbed my confidence as a writer – something I had really enjoyed doing. I admit to having a bit of a cry over it, sobbing all over the steering wheel while trying to drive. I’ve learnt though over the years to let things like that vow go and to forgive myself and the other person for what had happened.

Inner vows like this are often buried in our subconscious. We tell ourselves 'I'm never going to do this (whatever it is) again'. From that moment we have created a mindset and belief about ourselves and the situation. From then on that becomes a filter through which we will view ourselves in future similar situations. A great example is of a young girl dancing around the lounge pretending to be a ballerina and her father walks in and calls her all kinds of stupid and silly looking. Consciously or unconsciously, she decides she is never going to dance again or will always think of herself as a bad dancer.


It's worth checking in with yourself and ask Holy Spirit about your 'I'm never going to's'. What have you sworn you would never do again, despite it being something that you enjoyed.


What Should You Do with those Killer Promises

• The funny thing is that we are not aware of them most of the time, so you really need to do some navel gazing in prayer to uncover them. You can also think back on those activities you once enjoyed and ask yourself what stops you from doing them now. It might be something quite normal such as a lifestyle change, or financial hardship. Or maybe it was that defining moment when something quite significant happened that changed your belief and confidence about yourself
• Be kind to yourself, repent and forgive yourself for making that inner vow.
• Realise that you haven't necessarily lost the skill or enjoyment that you once had around that activity or situation.
• If someone else was involved as they were in my situation, forgiveness is an absolute. Unforgiveness only holds you in bondage. They probably don't care or are even aware of what they have done. So let it go.

You can rebuild your confidence again. Make a plan to begin doing what it was that you once loved to do.

Be good to yourself.
​Fiona