PRECIOUS TO US PRECIOUS TO HIM

***TRIGGER WARNING***  this blog is about our little ones we have lost and a way to heal. 
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I felt prompted to write this blog because of the profound healing some of my clients have had when they have trusted Jesus with their little ones lost before their due birth date.  The loss of such a child is can be devastating and have a lifelong impact upon us. There are some of us who for whatever reasons at the time, could not proceed with our pregnancies. Know that you are loved by God, and He saw your circumstances back then and there is healing and forgiveness through Him.  Your child was precious to you and is precious to Him. No matter at what stage or age, or what reason we experience our loss, there is grief and a whole other myriad of emotions that we go through.  Perhaps these words can help you to come to a place of healing. 

Let me share my story.  I lost a wee one at 7 months pre-natal. I was 23, single and an embarrassment to my family (pregnant out of wedlock wasn't a good thing back then) but nevertheless supported by them.  Every anniversary for the next 5 years, I would have an emotionally tormented day and could not understand why.  In the fifth year on that day, crying out to God for understanding, he reminded me what date it was.  I had also opened by Bible for encouragement and looked down to see it opened at Exodus 2, where Miriam put her baby brother into the basket and trusted the Lord to look after him.  Jesus was asking me to entrust my little one to Him, to dedicate him back to God.  As I dedicated my baby to Him, I went into a vision and saw Jesus holding my little one against his shoulder.  Baby was wearing an outfit I had knitted for him.  As I watched them in the vision baby grew and grew until he was too big and Jesus had to put him down.  Baby took Jesus' hand and they walked off into the distance.  This was a profoundly healing experience for me knowing that my little one was cared for and growing up with Jesus.  Many years later I had another vision where a man in dungarees was working in a garden and waved out to me.  When I asked the Lord who he was he told me it was my son.   

Jane (not her real name) for many years had the feeling that she should not be here on earth.  After several sessions around a lot of emotional turmoil in her life, in the last session she mentioned a baby girl she had lost through miscarriage at 3 months.  She had never considered dedicating her to the Lord, so I led her through that.  She saw her baby take the hand of Jesus and walk away with him feeling safe and loved.  Jane felt a huge weight lift off her and she said that feeling that she should not be here, which had been a constant companion for years, had gone.  

Tom (not his real name) came for help getting over a broken relationship and the loss of their baby through miscarriage.  After leading through prayer to dedicate baby into Jesus' keeping he felt a huge peace settle upon him.  ​

About 10 years ago in a conversation with my family I asked them why they never talked about baby after I came home from the hospital.  Their response was they didn't want to upset me.  But it was even more weird existing in the void of almost pretending it had not happened.  I believe this place of denial almost, is why it took 5 years for me to be open to being reminded of the anniversary date.  We must make room for grieving, reflection and expression of emotions for those experiencing loss.  Miscarriages are often just shrugged off, especially if in the first trimester, and the mother can feel like she shouldn't be grieving.  It is not just the loss of the baby but also the loss of what the future looks like; the expectation of having another to love and nurture. Often people don't know how to respond to a mother experiencing the loss of her baby and so they shy away from the subject.  Please love on those who are going through this grief, they need your hugs and compassionate conversation.  

Saying goodbye to our wee ones can be very healing.  I never saw my little one after birth, but we can still have our own celebrations of their life to farewell them and release them into Jesus care.  You can do this on your own, with your partner or a trusted friend.  There are many creative ways of doing this.  Planting a tree as a memorial, or releasing a balloon are two possible ways or simply sitting quietly with the Lord.  Some churches hold memorial services once a year for the little ones we've lost and provide a wonderful opportunity for saying goodbye.  

This prayer might be a good starting point for you. 

Lord, I lost my little one(s) too soon.  Thank you for the honor of being their mother and for the gift they were to us/me.  I know that you love my little one/s and you love me, and that they will always be safe with you.  So Lord I bless my baby and hand her/him into your care, releasing him/her to you to be loved and nurtured in your arms.  I ask Lord that you release from me (and my family etc) all the grief, overwhelming and unexpressed emotions I experienced at his/her loss.  Lord would you heal my heart (and that of my family etc) and enfold us in your love and care. Amen.
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