There is something deeply unsettling about being in the presence of someone who speaks with harsh certainty, who pushes their opinion forward with force rather than grace. Their words may be loud, sharp, or judgment-laden, and even when they are convinced they are “right,” something in our spirit knows that the manner is not Christlike. If you’ve encountered people like this, you are not alone.

Jesus warned us that not all voices carry His heart, even when they carry religious language. And yet, as followers of Christ, we are still called to respond differently—to walk a narrow way marked by humility, gentleness, and love. Humility, from a Christian perspective, is not weakness. It is strength that bows. It is confidence that does not need to dominate. It is security rooted so deeply in God that we no longer need to prove ourselves to others.

A humble heart listens before speaking. It seeks understanding over victory. It speaks truth without aggression and holds conviction without contempt. This is the way of Christ. And when we respond to abrasive people with humility—choosing patience over reaction, gentleness over retaliation—something powerful happens. The atmosphere shifts. We are no longer pulled into striving. We remain anchored.

Scripture reminds us that a soft answer turns away wrath. Not because it appeases pride, but because it refuses to partner with it. Yet humility does not mean passivity. It does not mean enduring disrespect, judgment, or emotional harm in the name of love. Jesus Himself embodied perfect humility—and He also walked with clarity, authority, and discernment.
Which brings us to the tension many believers feel…

Humility with Boundaries — Keeping Your Heart While Keeping Your Ground

One of the hardest spiritual disciplines is this: keeping your heart right while drawing a necessary boundary.  It’s one thing to respond with grace. It’s another to remain tender when someone crosses the line into harshness, judgment, or control. Boundaries are not a failure of humility. They are often an expression of wisdom. Jesus did not argue with everyone who challenged Him. Sometimes He responded. Sometimes He corrected. Sometimes He withdrew. His humility never required Him to remain in harmful or unfruitful exchanges. The challenge for us is not whether to set boundaries—but how we do it.

When boundaries are set from a wounded or defensive place, bitterness can quietly take root. When they are set from pride, we may feel justified but spiritually unsettled. But when boundaries are set from a place of prayer, clarity, and love, they protect both our hearts and our witness. This is where the real inner work happens. Because even when our boundary is right, our heart can still be wrong.

It’s easy to replay conversations in our minds. Easy to rehearse what we should have said. Easy to allow irritation to linger and harden into judgment of our own. And suddenly, without realising it, we are no longer responding from Christ’s spirit—but reacting from our flesh. Guarding your heart means regularly bringing those emotions back to God. Naming them honestly. Releasing them intentionally. Choosing forgiveness even when distance remains.
-  Forgiveness does not mean access.
-  Love does not mean tolerance of harm.
-  Humility does not mean self-abandonment.
-  It means entrusting justice, validation, and outcome to God.

There is a quiet strength in saying, “I will not engage in conversations that become harsh or judgmental.”  There is maturity in stepping back without slamming the door. There is Christlikeness in remaining soft without becoming unsafe.

If you are walking this road, be gentle with yourself. Keeping your heart right is not a one-time decision—it is a daily surrender. Some days you will do it well. Other days you will need to repent, reset, and begin again. 
And grace covers that too.
The goal is not perfection.
The goal is alignment.
To walk as Jesus walked—humble, grounded, discerning, and free.

In a world where we daily,  and sometimes hourly encounter lies and negativity it can feel like a constant battle to keep our hearts in a good place, our minds in a positive frame and our souls in a healthy state.  One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves to become whole and healed is to absorb and integrate the truth of who God says we are and how He sees us. 

We all know that it takes 21 days to break a habit. Likewise knowing and regularly decreeing God's truth about ourselves over our body, soul and spirit will shift the structures in our being that have been supporting the lies we have been believing about ourselves. Below I have set out a framework for you to do that for yourself.

One of the most beautiful segments of a Liebust is encountering God's heart truth about ourselves.  Father wants us to know in an intimate, personal and beautiful way how much He loves us.  The enemy however, loves it when we keep rehearsing the terrible lies we have thought about and spoken over ourselves for years.  Some of them so nasty that we hide them away from God and even ourselves in shame.  Some of these lies look like this:

* I'm not worth investing in
* It doesn't matter how hard I try
* I'm small and insignificant
* I'm not a chosen person
* I'm not clean enough for God to use me
* I don't have a voice
* I belong in the gutter

How beautiful though are these truths that I have seen God demonstate and speak over the lives of women who have encountered Him personally as part of a Liebust. 

* You are who I say you are
* I don't have to push at doors anymore
* I can be who He made me to be
* I'm protected by God as I step out
* There's a place for me to step into
* Jesus has given me wings to fly
* Everything is coming together and flowing into me

Papa has in that place of intimacy and encounter with Him crowns of overcoming, sceptres of authority and scrolls of destiny to give you. He wants to dance with you in the ballroom of heaven and take you into the River of Life to be refreshed and restored.  He has jewels of remembrance, perfumes, flowers, paintings, experiencing the living breath of heaven in the flora and fauna of heaven, words of affirmation to speak over you, keys to give you, rivers of gold and the light of His glory for you to bathe in, elixirs for healing. For you to see barriers being removed, chains broken, doubt destroyed, being clothed in new robes, and encountering true joy and peace.  This is what Father has for us and so, so much more.  He wants us to enjoy encounter and oneness with Him anytime we go into our secret place with Him.

YOU CAN ENCOUNTER THE TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE FOR YOURSELF
A Liebust is not necessary to spend time with the Father in this way or to find out His truths about ourselves. We have access to our heavenly Father 24/7. In John 17 Jesus tells us that we are in Him and He is in us. Jesus is the door to the Father and through him we come into that place of intimacy and encounter.  It is only a matter of knowing that we are already in that place of intimacy with Him. 

"I have given them the glory You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one. I in them and You in Me-- that they may be perfectly united, so that the world may know that You sent Me and have loved them just as You have loved Me. Father, I want those You have given Me to be with Me where I am, that they may see the glory You gave Me because You loved Me before the foundation of the world.…"

Many of us have a few obvious lies that we know we believe about ourselves or speak over ourselves often.  Why not ask Father to bring you into His truth to replace those lies. 

Here's one way you can do that. 
1.   Find yourself a quiet, undisturbed place where you can nestle into Jesus.
2.  Ask Jesus to cover and protect you with His blood and give you eyes to see and ears to hear or a sense of what Father wants to show you about yourself. 
3.  Spend some time in gratitude, praise and worship for the goodness of God in your life. He always wants to release His goodness over us. 
4.   Ask God's forgiveness for the lies you have been believing. Ask Jesus to go to the very root of those lies in your own life or your bloodline and nail them to the Cross.  Break all agreement with them and the power they have had over you. Ask Jesus to dismantle every structure in your being that has supported those lies and to bring your DNA back into heavenly alignment. 
5.   Ask Jesus to show you what happened when you did that and to give you the truths to replace those lies. He may give you words, thoughts, pictures, scripture, a song, a feeling to communicate those truths to you.  Write them down.  They are now your reality to decree over yourself in the weeks ahead.  
6.   When you're ready ask Jesus to take you into the Throne Room to see your heavenly Father.  Ask the Father what He wants to say to you, or is there something He wants to give you or show you.  Write these down too. They are the truths of who you are.  Soak in Father's presence. 
7.   Take communion, acknowledging the cleansing power of Jesus blood through your life. Communion changes our DNA and brings us into alignment with the Father's heart for us. 

Remember we are spirit beings, citizens of heaven first, seated in heavenly places with Jesus.  We are to live out of that truth, not the lies we encounter in our daily life that the enemy would use to destroy us. 

John 8:32 says 'you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'. 
   
Take a hold of God's truth for you and you will see chains fall off your life, obstacles removed, restoration, healing and freedom become daily truth. 



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​THE LOVE COMPONENT:

It is an active, conscious choice to value, respect and affirm people without prejudice or judgement.  It is choosing to say, regardless of how you treat me, I’m still going to treat you the way I would like to be treated

Now sometimes that can be hard.  It means that I have to recognise that I am  not responsible for the way people respond to me (as long as I have not been ‘unloving’ in some way), and that sometimes even in my caring, I may still have to put boundaries around our relationship for our my own protection or even yours.

The Love Component recognises that you may have struggles and history in your life I’m not aware of, and those have made you who you are today.  It recognises that you may still be processing your ‘stuff’ and growing in your maturity and working through your healing.  It gives you room to make mistakes and to try again, and when we have disagreements I’m going to still value and affirm you but hope that we can work together to create a win-win situation for both of us.

The Love Component also considers how my decisions will affect others and I make adjustments to my attitude and behaviour so that I protect our relationship.  I am going to appreciate our differences and recognise that you have strengths I don’t have and together we can build a whole.  I will endeavour to set aside my preconceived ideas, mindsets and prejudices that may cause me to make wrong assumptions about you.
  
The Love Component chooses to always move towards positive, healthy communication and relationships even when it feels scary and makes me feel vulnerable and fearful.  I make the choice to always choose that we will relate.

Choosing to live my life with others through the Love Component will always have its challenges, but choosing to always respect, affirm and appreciate others, no matter the differences between us, will always reap rewards in my life.  My relationships will always be that much more enriching and satisfying and I will feel a sense of belonging and community with others.