Betrayal can strike at the very core of our being. It often feels like a sudden, sharp blow—a jarring and shattering experience that can leave us feeling vulnerable and confused. Whether it comes in the form of infidelity in a romantic relationship, backstabbing by a friend, or dishonesty from a colleague, betrayal hurts deeply and can force us to confront difficult emotions that often leave us feeling numb and wanting to hide. However, while overcoming betrayal is challenging, it can also be a transformative journey toward our healing and renewal.
0 Comments
 At a dream interpretation conference I was chosen to share a dream I consistently had over the years but never had the interpretation for. I would dream of looking for antique jewelry, old books, and antique china. The interpretation was this: it all spoke of my inheritance (the antique part), it spoke of adornment (my giftings), and old china becoming a mature vessel for the Lord. That moment was one of the most impacting moments of my life because I suddenly understood something about my identity. The dream was a reflection of my search for what God had put in me and who I was.
In a recent encounter with the Lord, I saw Jesus alone at the feasting table which was empty – the table representing family, community and faithful presence. People were standing in front of but away from the table as they thought they had nothing worthy to bring to the feast. I think a lot of us feel that way BUT We are co-creators with Him, we are called to be in partnership with him, to do our part both here on earth and in the spirit. He has done his part now we do ours. We all struggle with our identity and purpose but has God deposited in you what you have to bring to the table. Rom 12:29 For God’s gift and His call are irrevocable. He never withdraws them when once they are given, and he does not change his mind about those to whom he gives his grace or to whom he send his call. You are given as a gift to the body of Christ and gifted with the gifts of the Spirit to bring the Kingdom of God into each other's lives and here on earth. We need each other. We need your gifts at work in our lives. If you are unsure of what giftings God has placed in you, there are numerous quizzes and information online. We have been conditioned in mainstream pentecostalism to superstar giftings in the church – limited to those who are somehow worthy of being up front and ministering. If we didn't have a place within in the fellowship we attended we pretty much had nowhere to serve. Huge lie. The gifts and who you are are meant for both inside and outside our spiritual gatherings. You are uniquely gifted, talented and skilled to play your part in bringing the Kingdom of God to earth. So many offences and wounds have come because we have not been allowed to or had a place to function and thought it could only be in the church. As always it is the LIES that hold us back: I’m not good enough Who do you think you are You’re just being prideful There’s no place for me I’ll make a fool of myself My gifts aren’t powerful enough I’ll only get hurt putting myself out there Nobody sees me They don't appreciate me If you have come under the power of any of these lies, then the blood of Jesus and his cleansing and healing are available for you to be free and move forward. But there is a whole marketplace out there and those in fellowship we can be a blessing to. 1. Our gifting mix is unique and fits only your destiny. 2. We each have our own combinations and strengths. 3. We can have different seasons where one gifting is more present than others 4. There is a fascinating thing – even if we are not aware of our gifts or call we are operating in them because they are a part of your DNA (the degree of which depends on where we are in our walk). 5. There are things that can make us less effective e.g. lack of fruit of spirit, immaturity in way you express the gift. There was another dream I had where a woman gave to me a beautiful pair of earrings her husband had given to her as a gift. I took them reluctantly at her insistence. There is more to the dream, but the crux of it was this: some of us have been offended or hurt because we have endeavoured to use our giftings and been rejected and so have handed them off, giving others the responsibility by default. But this doesn't work because only you have that unique combination designed to be a blessing for the people and places you will find yourself involved with. If you have stepped back for any reason, the communication lines are always open with the Father. Repent, forgive those who offended you, seek him for understanding of what he has put in you and called you to be and do. Don't rely on others to do this for you. Let Jesus be your first port of call. He does not walk away from you even when you disconnect the communication lines or want to hand it all back to him so there is no burden. We are gifted to be a blessing to others around us. The body of Christ needs you. If you are not aware of what your giftings are, then do some research. Got Questions.org is good place to look. Read books, learn how to function in those gifts, learn about the negative traits of them, they are an opportunity to grow in the fruit of the spirit. Make room for each other’s gifts. Learn what they look like in that person and become a team player. Don’t covet what you haven’t been called to. It will never fit you, you will become frustrated, find it hard to walk in love and may cause chaos for others. You have your own 5000 to look after. Ask God who they are.  So this is a story about wheat and bread and who you are and what is in your kit.
EINKORN is the name of an ancient wheat and means 'single grain'. Einkorn wheat is pure; it's not genetically modified and because it is highly nutritious, it keeps you very full. It also lacks the chromosomes that cause wheat intolerance. Bread way back then was almost a complete food. Jesus is our Einkorn wheat, he's pure, no mixed DNA, and He is all that we need. John 6:35 SAYS 'I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall not thirst'. In John 6:51 it says, 'I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh'. We give out of the bread of life of who Jesus is in us. If He is in you and you are in Him and one with him, then that living bread is dwelling in you and waiting to be multiplied out. We don't need anything special to do that because it's already available IN HIM. Now Jesus isn't way out there in the sky somewhere either, He is both seated next to His Father in heavenly places, but He is also one spirit with us. What He can do, you can do. What He has, you also have. We are created in the Father's image, so who He is, is in a sense who you are! If we can grab a hold of that revelation that WE ARE ONE WITH HIM, HE IN US AND WE IN HIM everything changes about our identity. In Matthew 14:9-21 is the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. In verse 13 Jesus had just learnt from the disciples of John's beheading. It says Jesus was moved by compassion for the crowds THAT WERE IN FRONT OF HIM, he wasn't moved by His grief and walked away. Our emotions of course are quite valid, however in the days ahead we will see many in need, and we are to be moved by our spirit and not our flesh. Even when we have a bad day, it has nothing to do with our level of faith or how emotional we are feeling; we must learn to step into that place in the Spirit and operate from there. The disciples saw only empty stomachs, but Jesus saw lost souls and people in need. In verse 16 Jesus said to them 'you give them something to eat'. Interestingly, the disciples seemed to have forgotten all the miracles they had seen Jesus do previously, and were not understanding that they were just as capable of multiplying the loaves and fishes as Jesus was. This is why growing in our identity, intimacy and sonship with Jesus is so important. Understanding WHO HE IS IN YOU! Our resources and who we are, are sufficient for the '5000' Father will be sending us to or bringing to us. We each have our own unique bread recipe and type of fish in our kit that is perfect for our 5000. Jesus took what they collected and took it to Jesus to bless (and multiply) it. Because Jesus is in us, that capacity to bless and multiply is already in us. Jesus was trying to teach the disciples they had the same ability to produce life in others as He had. In Him, our only source, we have an endless supply for our 5000. It does not run out (verse 20). Your 5000 will look different to mine. This is why we cannot compare ourselves, our gifting/calling/purpose/assignment mix to anyone elses. Your recipe is unique. You have the perfect bread mix for your 5000. And Father will send them and lead you to them. Be sensitive daily to the nudges and hints of the Holy Spirit. Ask Him who, where, when, how for each day. Whether what you do is one on one, or with many, or is a ministry in the Spirit, it is all essential - this is the Body flowing together. When I ministered at the Kaipara Women's Conference in March of this year after this message, many of the women came for prayer to find out more about their 5000. Through word of knowledge Holy Spirit was telling me of their passions, giftings and what that currently looked like. Most of the women were already doing in some form or another what God had put in them, but those seeds are going to burst forth and multiply into more and bigger fruit. The biggest thing holding them back was lack of confidence in who they are and what they feel God has given them to do or was asking them to do. Father loves and rewards our hunger, humility, intimacy with Him and our obedience. That is what equips us for our 5000. We don't have to change who we are. We don't have to be a polished performer following protocols and formats and strategies of man to reach our 5000. We just have to be ourselves and in relationship with Him. Our 5000 will be attracted to who you uniquely are, not some man-made image we have been taught. JUST BE YOURSELF, that is who they enjoy being with. Let your light shine, love on people, you have the bread, water and new wine they need. You will meet many women at your well. If your gift is to give hospitality, listen and love, then just do that. If you love to lift people up our of despair and encourage them, then just do that. Whether you do it at home, in the supermarket, at work or in fellowship, they will be your 5000. You will soon learn to recognise them. You are my 5000 and the ones I minister encouragement and inner healing to on a one on one basis. I said at conference that my mercy gifting is not great, but I'm growing in that. I've learnt to understand my gifting/calling/purpose/assignment mix and to keep to that lane and not look at what others are doing. It doesn't matter what we consider a big or small thing we are doing, it still reverberates out to many. For a long time we have been in transition like incubating chicken eggs about to hatch. We've felt like overdue mamas, stretched and tired from the waiting. But our birthing time is now and YOU ARE MORE THAN READY and YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SOME BEAUTIFUL BABIES! Father says in 1 Peter 2:9, 'you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of the darkness into His marvellous light'.  Family dynamics - they can be a joy or one of the most triggering and traumatising relationships in our lives. God's best for us is to enjoy wholesome, loving, restored relationship with our close and extended family. For some of us, relationships are so damaged beyond repair that for our own wellbeing and safety we cannot return to them but must focus on our own healing and restoration.
This article is prompted by a correction from the Lord with one of my family members. We have been working on our relationship for quite some time because we both want to enjoy each other when we're together. Part of this has required honesty from both of us, sharing the things that we have not understood and the things that have hurt us. A little while ago when I was doing nothing of importance, the Holy Spirit cut right across my thoughts and gave me an insight that led to me being able to genuinely apologise with no strings attached or expectations on my part. He said to me, 'you reacted the way you did because you were embarrassed, but you also took away that person's choices and placed yours upon them'. I am hoping that apology has bought some closure for them. How different their life might have been if I hadn't done that. The Lord in His mercy has still bought blessing out of it all. So the point of my sharing this is this. Restoration of family relationship can be hard work. It takes time, prayer, vulnerability, forgiveness and humility. It also takes a willingness to be shown the truth of a matter. It had never entered my head that I had taken their choice away from them. I was doing what I thought was right at the time. GOD GAVE ME HIS PERSPECTIVE that carried no blame or condemnation, just an opportunity to ask for forgiveness and facilitate healing for the other person. We have all seen those movies where family members haven't spoken to each other for years. Each declaring they are not going to be the one to reach out first. Unwilling to forgive, unwilling to accept they may have been in the wrong. It is time to reach out, to bring healing to our families. It doesn't start with them. It starts with US! I remember many years ago the Lord prompting me to write a letter to my parents asking their forgiveness for all the pain and worry I put them through when I was younger. I had many justifiable reasons why I needn't have done that. My parents really appreciated it but I didn't get the big reaction I was expecting. You see, it wasn't so much for their benefit, as it was for mine and for my own healing and growth. It needed to happen to remove a stumbling block in me. Perhaps there is a small note you can send, a quick text asking for a get together, or a phone call. The Lord will show you what to do. It's time to eat humble pie! Restoration begins with us, partnering with the Lord, seeking His insight and truth into our relationship breakdown, seeking our own healing in the first instance. Letting go, because ultimately people come first and maybe it wasn't such a big deal after all.  God has been speaking to me a lot lately about courage and resilience. It's definitely something that we are all growing in at this time, and for many who have lost jobs and homes at this time, it has stretched them to the end of their courage and beyond.
|
AuthorsFiona Dieleman Archives
August 2024
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
Photo from abbilder
