![]() The five most powerful things we need as human beings are these: to be loved, to belong, to be seen, to be heard, to be accepted. When these needs are unmet our self-worth and identity can be deeply affected. We can then subconsciously attempt to fulfil them in other ways and they can become an idol of identity for us. In truth only in our relationship with the Trinity can we find the complete fulfillment of all these needs. Growing up none of us are ever perfectly nurtured by our loved ones, and we have defining moments in our lives where these needs were unmet and have stuck with us into adulthood. God has gifted us all individually and we all carry a unique toolbox comprised of a perfect combination of gifts, skills, talents and experience that we can use to express who God is to the rest of the world and to play our part in building his Kingdom. When the above needs are unmet and unhealed within us, our toolbox can become the means of affirming our identity and having those needs met e.g. the highly prophetic person who works the room until they are solely ministering to people, the person who is constantly sharing their spiritual encounters to prove their worth, or the prophet who loves the acclaim and importance of sharing their 'thus saith the Lord', or the one with the strong serving gift who is unable to be part of a team because they want full control. Their need to belong, be seen, heard and affirmed are found in their toolbox. While these people genuinely love the Lord, their ministry is marred by their woundedness and unmet needs. God never revokes the gifts, and he extends grace towards us, but his heart is also that we would truly know that we are loved, belong, are seen, heard, accepted and safe with him. It is common when working with my clients to identify younger ages when they got 'stuck' because of an experience when one of these needs was unmet and it has remained unhealed into adulthood. Let me give you an example. Five year old Susan was left at school because her mother forgot to pick her up. That experience left her feeling unseen and unsafe. Her mother may not have spent time reassuring and reaffirming Susan afterwards and simply picked her up, soothed her for a couple of minutes, and carried on home. This experience became a filter and a belief system within Susan that she now has to fight to be seen and safe. This could mean that she feels she has to be the centre of attention but within scenarios controlled by her so she feels safe. If something in her toolbox is useful for bringing her that attention, her identity can become wrapped up in that gift or talent because it meets a need that God is longing to fill her heart with. If you believe there have been some defining moments in your life where your younger self has got 'stuck', you can ask Jesus to identify them for you and to minister to that younger self, affirming that he is able to meet that need and that they (that younger self) can be safe with Jesus and grow into their adult self . (Let me know if you want more info on this process). One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is to become brutally self-aware. We all have blind spots and weaknesses we cannot see in ourselves. Intimacy with God and a teachable spirit go along way towards hearing the loving, still small voice of correction to get you back on the right path. Having trusted friends who can call us out when we get off the path are also valuable. Often our healing only happens when something goes wrong and we are forced to confront the wounds. My heart is that people would be proactive in working on their healing with the Father before this happens. Because of his great grace and mercy he also understands that we are on the journey of appropriating our true identity in him. He never condemns and he never expects perfection. He looks at our hearts and honors our sincere efforts to be a blessing to others. He wants us to know the power, the joy and the blessing of using our toolbox in a way that is pure from a heart that knows they are loved, seen, heard, belong, accepted and safe. We are his delight, his beloved, his sons and daughters created in his image. We no longer receive our identity or self-worth from the world but from him. We are healed, all of our needs are met in him, and he loves it when we chase after that truth and make it a reality in our lives.
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![]() The Fear of Failure: Embracing Grace and Growth In our journey as believers, the fear of failure can often cast a large shadow over our aspirations and potential. This fear, while natural, can hinder us from fully living out our faith and embracing the abundant life promised to us in scripture. However, it's crucial to realize that failure is also an important part of our journey that can lead to growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of God’s grace. Understanding the Fear of Failure The fear of failure can stem from many sources. Society often places tremendous pressure on us to succeed. We're inundated with images of perfection, success stories, and social media stories that can easily make us feel insecure and take us into self-doubt. A lack of affirmation, praise and encouragement for our efforts and achievements growing up, or criticism at every attempt rather than praise, or a one time massive failure event, can set us up for fear of failure and self-sabotage from then on. Our subconscious dialogue becomes one of self-protection and fear of change. If this is the case for you, you may need to seek healing. In the context of faith, fear may also manifest as anxiety over not meeting the expectations of others those we have set for ourselves. We worry about failing in our walk, at our jobs, in our relationships and at new ventures and assignments from God. It’s important to recognize that Jesus never intended for our walk with Him to be devoid of mistakes or setbacks. The Bible is filled with stories of individuals who faced significant challenges, encountered failures, and ultimately grew through their experiences. These challenges serve as reminders that our failures don’t categorize us; rather, they form part of our testimonies. God has never required perfection from us. Perfectionism, driven by the fear of failure, is a heavy yoke to carry, and God calls us to take His yoke instead, for His burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30). In Him, we find the freedom not to be perfect, but to be loved and sufficient in His perfect grace. Embracing God's Grace One of the most liberating truths in our faith is that we are under God’s grace. Romans 8:1 reassures us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” This verse is a powerful affirmation that our standing before God is not based on our failures, but on Christ’s perfect righteousness. With this understanding, we can let go of perfectionism and embrace the idea that it’s okay to stumble. When we fail, instead of succumbing to fear, we can choose to view our failures as opportunities for growth. When we face difficulties, we are prompted to rely more on God’s strength and wisdom, leading us into deeper communion with Him. Each setback offers lessons that draw us closer to Christ, helping us to mature in faith and understanding. Many of us are stepping into new seasons in our lives, and the fear of failing at what God is calling us to can be quite overwhelming. We may have an inkling of what that looks like but the fullness of it could be too much if it was all revealed at once. Our total reliance on Him and His grace in these new seasons is vital. Nevertheless, even if we stumble, He is there to pick us up and carry us forward. Boldness, fearlessness, obedience and surrender are our key words for this moment. When you're anxious about what's ahead, remember Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG), "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track" and “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 Steps to Overcome the Fear of Failure
Our God is a God of second chances. In the same way that Peter denied Christ yet was restored, we too can find redemption. Our failures do not disqualify us from His plans; they often catapult us into them. Imagine the testimonies that can arise from our struggles and failures! Each story is an opportunity to showcase God’s work in our lives, how He transforms our trials into triumphs. Moving Forward The fear of failure may be an inescapable part of our walk, but it doesn't have to define it. By embracing God's grace, shifting our perspectives, changing our mindsets and confessions, and being a part of community, and having an active prayer life, we position ourselves for personal growth and a deeper and more powerful relationship with Christ. Our journey may be one of twists and turns, but with every step, He is walking with us. So whatever inkling you might have of what God has ahead for you, let's be bold, brave and courageous, and trust in His plans, and say YES LORD! ![]() For most of my adult life I have labored under a bondage of self-sabotage. For most of that time, it ticked away in the background of my life and I was totally unaware that it was in play, holding me back from new opportunities and new adventures. Growing up affirmation, praise and encouragement for my efforts happened rarely. It was more likely that any faults would be highlighted instead. As with many adults of my age group, this was simply a reflection of the environment our parents were raised in, and they did their best at the time. However, what this led to for me, was a subconscious self- protection and dialogue that said if you step out it's going to be painful. History has seen me go so far and no further in my efforts to save myself from failure, rejection, possible ridicule and disappointment. At work I would excel at my job but once I had mastered it I would begin to sabotage myself in some way and eventually change jobs. Even now, I am challenged afresh to overcome this stealthy enemy who wants to keep me back from my potential. What Self-Sabotage Looks Like: 1. Procrastination 2. Fear of failure, rejection, judgement, ridicule, disappointment 3. Fear of change and the unknown 4. Allowing yourself to be distracted 5. Making excuses 6. Perfectionism 7. Self-destructive behaviours 8. Unwarranted fears 9. Negative self-talk that lessens who you are, the gold in you, and disqualifies your efforts 10. Comparing self with others, ''there's always someone else who can do it better than me'' 11. Giving up before even trying 12. Starting something new without finishing other projects 13. Choosing something lesser when being offered something you've always desired 14. Foretelling a negative outcome before it happens 15. Being vulnerable to voices around you that just want to pull you down and hold you back 16. Double-mindedness, hesitancy, unable to make a decision 17. Wasting time on social media or other non productive activities 18. Listening to the lies of the enemy Low self-esteem, past failures and traumas, and not fully understanding our identity in Christ can be predominant contributors to our self-sabotage. But the good news is that our identity is not found in failure, fears and traumas - it is found in the faithful endless love and grace of a loving God who is only ever strengthening us and encouraging us along the way. Most of our sabotaging behaviours have come about because of not truly knowing who we are and how God sees us. A good first step is to keep developing your intimate relationship with him, and spending time with him allowing him to bring you insight, wisdom and healing. You may also need to get practical help through prayer, counselling or other emotional/trauma healing modalities, or even deliverance. Some of these behaviours may have generational roots that need addressing. Identifying our negative mindsets and beliefs about ourselves is the next step in getting back control of our potential and our future. I always say to people, 'catch yourself thinking the wrong thought, then tell your brain the truth it is supposed to know' (and this is always what God says about us). Our brain is like a computer, it doesn't know right from wrong, so it will only spit out what is fed into it. So changing our thought life is the very 'renewing of the mind' the Bible speaks of in Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Our confession is just as important as our thought life. Our words will express what we believe, and what we believe is what we will expect, and what we expect is what we will manifest in our life. Our negative words of doom and gloom are as creative coming out of our mouth as they were coming out of God's when he spoke and created the earth. Declaring God's truth and promises, and your own words of encouragement and affirmation over yourself daily will help you to keep a positive perspective about your world and your potential. Remember this is a journey. You will have set backs and failures and mishaps along the way. But God encourages us to get up and keep running the race. 2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” On a more practical level set realistic goals and a determination within yourself to be disciplined and intentional about completing them. Self-sabotage can simply become a bad habit and a deep rut we have fallen into and so it will take some intentional effort to change that. Look at where you are afraid of moving forward, or stepping into, or completing. What patterns can you recognise through your life where you have wanted something but have pulled back in some way? What is the next step you can take to begin again? Ask a friend to be an accountability and encouragement partner for you. A genuine desire to be free and to change will always be enhanced by God's help and strengthening if we ask him. Social media is very adept at getting us to compare ourselves with others. The constant barrage encouraging us to be everything but our own unique God-created selves has become a powerful destroyer of our own potential. Limiting our intake of all of this negativity can only help us to keep positive outlooks and beliefs about ourselves. Ask your friends to tell about the gold they see in you, write it down and alongside that describe the gold you see in yourself. What do you like about yourself? What do you know you are capable of doing? What promises has God already given you? What are the prophetic dreams and words you've had over you? There is more gold in you than you think. Comparison is a terrible thief. It tells us we don't measure up in some way, we're not good enough, somebody else has already done it or done it better than I can. It leads to fear judgement and rejection and cause the self-sabotaging mechanism to kick into action. The truth is that each of us is unique - we each are one of a kind with our own special set of experience, skills, knowledge, gifts and call. It does not matter who we compare ourselves with because because the truth is there is no one to actually compare ourselves too. I recently caught myself comparing myself with someone else. Yes, I could emulate some of the things she does for her ministry, but the truth is that she has her own 5000 to minister to that is very different to my 5000. We each bring what the recipients of each of our ministries need at any particular time. We are not in competition, but rather we can complement what we each do, or we are a piece of God's larger picture required for the whole body of Christ. So comparing ourselves is really a pointless exercise that will only drag us down. So let's kick that self-sabotage to the kerb where it belongs and step out with boldness and bravery into what each of us is called to be and do. Closing the door on Fear. What is fear anyway? Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm.
Fear can cause us to FIGHT | FLIGHT | FREEZE God’s had His finger on this issue in my life lately. When I become aware of fear, I either run away or freeze up. I knew it is time to lean in to what Father is saying to me about fear. He wants me whole and well. By now, I’m well aware how much fear has robbed me of all kinds of possibilities, but I wanted to know why I have this problem with fear. This has been a known enemy to me for as long as I can remember. Fear comes in when there are doors of destruction open inside of us. For me it’s mostly jammed open because of trauma. When we started going deeper and investigating the causes, I can honestly say, I didn’t like it. It is only because I knew God wants to heal me completely from those traumas, that I’m persevering and surrendering. I trust Father more and more as I see evidence of His good nature towards me. I would like to share with you what I’ve learnt so far in how to deal with these open doors. I hope that this will encourage you to seek Father if you are struggling with fear. IDENTIFY THE DOOR AND CALL OUT THE FEAR COMING FROM IT There are doors in my life that I’ve chosen to forget. It’s too painful and I’d rather have them buried deep so they are out of sight out of mind. But the thing is, the longer it sits there, the more it festers and influences many areas in my life. I know that God has me covered. I trust Father has a good reason for taking me to those doors. So it’s okay to identify and call out those fears. CONFRONT THE FEAR WITH THE WORD OF GOD The Word of God is a double edged sword so by decreeing God’s word, I cut away the lies. 2 Tim 1:7 says that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. What this looks like to me is that I can confront that fear coming from that door and renounce it. Fear is not part of my identity! But power, love and a sound mind is! So, I then choose to love more and focus on what is good and positive. 1 John 4:18 says that God’s perfect love drives out fear. I’ve noticed when I feel fear rise up in me it is because I lack a manifestation of love around me. It’s not always possible to get love from everyone. We are all human, but God is Love. I choose to sit in His love. I often ask Father to give me tangible love. I need to feel it not just know it. Like today, I was completely overwhelmed by His loving touch. It was like His presence hugged me. I cried hard, not because I was sad, but because it was overwhelmingly beautiful! Only He can move me like this. Because of my experiences with Father, I know that He is always with me and that He will never leave me. (Heb 13:5-6). When my love tank is full, I notice fear isn’t ruling my emotions. FORGIVE, RELEASE, BLESS. REPEAT I’ve asked Father how do I forgive when I still feel the pain and trauma. See, it’s easy to forgive when pain and trauma isn’t attached to it. Jesus said to bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:28). I wanted to rebel against this. It’s a crazy idea! I got angry, because I had other ideas about dealing with these people that hurt me. But then I had a change of heart. Maybe, I should try it Jesus’ way. Whenever Holy Spirit brings someone up, I would forgive them, ask Father to bless them more than me and then I would release them. Sometimes I have to repeat this process more for some than others until my heart truly aligns and brings me to a place where I really mean it and feel that release myself. In some cases, I would kick against this process because all kinds of uncomfortable emotions rise up like anger. I don’t feel soft towards that person at all. That’s when it becomes a choice – I have to forgive. I have to remember the bigger picture. The thing is. If I don’t forgive, that trauma can’t be healed properly, and therefore that door stays wide open for fear to have free access to me. Over the last few years, I’ve been going through this process a few times. It was the hardest to forgive myself. I’m still in that process. I didn’t realise that I held a grudge towards myself, until I become aware that I beat myself up quick and harshly and constantly. I realized the intensity of this when a friend told me to look at myself in the mirror and say to myself, Venessa, I love you. I told my friend that it’s a crazy idea! I actually got mad, and then I had so many questions, like why am I getting upset about this? My reaction is crazier! Then the penny dropped. Oh Lord, help me to forgive myself. FORM A HABIT OF COURAGE Lastly. Fear is a habit, but so is courage! I choose courage. Overcoming fear and staying above it, has not been easy for me. I’d rather run away, but I know it won’t help, so I choose to be brave and let Holy Spirit lead me to every door that needs to be closed. By now, I’m quicker to go through this process and not allowing a door to stay jammed open. Keeping the doors to fear shut, is a practice that continues. It becomes easier and quicker with practice. Perseverance is paying off. I’ve become more whole and stronger. I’m becoming who I am supposed to be. ............................................................................................................................................................................................... Venessa Smart is a very special friend, a creative and a prophet, who has given me endless encouragement and friendship over the last several years, and it is an honor to post this testimony of a part of the journey she has been on. It is her hope that this article blesses someone else. In a world where we daily, and sometimes hourly encounter lies and negativity it can feel like a constant battle to keep our hearts in a good place, our minds in a positive frame and our souls in a healthy state. One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves to become whole and healed is to absorb and integrate the truth of who God says we are and how He sees us. We all know that it takes 21 days to break a habit. Likewise knowing and regularly decreeing God's truth about ourselves over our body, soul and spirit will shift the structures in our being that have been supporting the lies we have been believing about ourselves. Below I have set out a framework for you to do that for yourself. One of the most beautiful segments of a Liebust is encountering God's heart truth about ourselves. Father wants us to know in an intimate, personal and beautiful way how much He loves us. The enemy however, loves it when we keep rehearsing the terrible lies we have thought about and spoken over ourselves for years. Some of them so nasty that we hide them away from God and even ourselves in shame. Some of these lies look like this: * I'm not worth investing in * It doesn't matter how hard I try * I'm small and insignificant * I'm not a chosen person * I'm not clean enough for God to use me * I don't have a voice * I belong in the gutter How beautiful though are these truths that I have seen God demonstate and speak over the lives of women who have encountered Him personally as part of a Liebust. * You are who I say you are * I don't have to push at doors anymore * I can be who He made me to be * I'm protected by God as I step out * There's a place for me to step into * Jesus has given me wings to fly * Everything is coming together and flowing into me Papa has in that place of intimacy and encounter with Him crowns of overcoming, sceptres of authority and scrolls of destiny to give you. He wants to dance with you in the ballroom of heaven and take you into the River of Life to be refreshed and restored. He has jewels of remembrance, perfumes, flowers, paintings, experiencing the living breath of heaven in the flora and fauna of heaven, words of affirmation to speak over you, keys to give you, rivers of gold and the light of His glory for you to bathe in, elixirs for healing. For you to see barriers being removed, chains broken, doubt destroyed, being clothed in new robes, and encountering true joy and peace. This is what Father has for us and so, so much more. He wants us to enjoy encounter and oneness with Him anytime we go into our secret place with Him. YOU CAN ENCOUNTER THE TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE FOR YOURSELF A Liebust is not necessary to spend time with the Father in this way or to find out His truths about ourselves. We have access to our heavenly Father 24/7. In John 17 Jesus tells us that we are in Him and He is in us. Jesus is the door to the Father and through him we come into that place of intimacy and encounter. It is only a matter of knowing that we are already in that place of intimacy with Him. "I have given them the glory You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one. I in them and You in Me-- that they may be perfectly united, so that the world may know that You sent Me and have loved them just as You have loved Me. Father, I want those You have given Me to be with Me where I am, that they may see the glory You gave Me because You loved Me before the foundation of the world.…" Many of us have a few obvious lies that we know we believe about ourselves or speak over ourselves often. Why not ask Father to bring you into His truth to replace those lies. Here's one way you can do that. 1. Find yourself a quiet, undisturbed place where you can nestle into Jesus. 2. Ask Jesus to cover and protect you with His blood and give you eyes to see and ears to hear or a sense of what Father wants to show you about yourself. 3. Spend some time in gratitude, praise and worship for the goodness of God in your life. He always wants to release His goodness over us. 4. Ask God's forgiveness for the lies you have been believing. Ask Jesus to go to the very root of those lies in your own life or your bloodline and nail them to the Cross. Break all agreement with them and the power they have had over you. Ask Jesus to dismantle every structure in your being that has supported those lies and to bring your DNA back into heavenly alignment. 5. Ask Jesus to show you what happened when you did that and to give you the truths to replace those lies. He may give you words, thoughts, pictures, scripture, a song, a feeling to communicate those truths to you. Write them down. They are now your reality to decree over yourself in the weeks ahead. 6. When you're ready ask Jesus to take you into the Throne Room to see your heavenly Father. Ask the Father what He wants to say to you, or is there something He wants to give you or show you. Write these down too. They are the truths of who you are. Soak in Father's presence. 7. Take communion, acknowledging the cleansing power of Jesus blood through your life. Communion changes our DNA and brings us into alignment with the Father's heart for us. Remember we are spirit beings, citizens of heaven first, seated in heavenly places with Jesus. We are to live out of that truth, not the lies we encounter in our daily life that the enemy would use to destroy us. John 8:32 says 'you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free'. Take a hold of God's truth for you and you will see chains fall off your life, obstacles removed, restoration, healing and freedom become daily truth. |
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