I wanted to get real about the journey of healing our self esteem, because there are so many fluffy, make-it-sound-easy quick fixes on the internet. Of course there is truth in most of it and it is all helpful, but I’m a rubber-hits-the-road kind of gal and I’ve discovered that true commitment to change comes when a client understands the fullness of the effort and courage it will take them to grow. This blog is written out of my own journey to healthier self esteem and of course does not cover everything. As there is so much content to this subject I am going to spread it over two blogs.
It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s that I really began to consciously work on growing my self esteem. The inspiration to do that came from work mates who assumed I had more confidence and self esteem than I actually did. That coincided with a reality check about who and what I was becoming. It kind of gave me something to live up to on the inside. The most powerful thing you can do to lift someone’s self esteem is to believe the best about them and love them back to life. That means looking past the behaviours they use to create self protective walls and gently loving them unconditionally. When I was 30 I began my journey with God and that accelerated my healing a great deal. After many years, God is still revealing more layers that have been hidden but I can finally say that a lot of my insecurity has now gone. It is a journey, and we are not to beat ourselves up because we 'aren't there yet'.
Growing our self esteem is not an overnight journey, it can take many years of small steps forward and also comes with experiences, challenges we have gone through and overcome, and lessons we have learned. No one ever has perfect self esteem, regardless of who it is, so be kind to yourself. It has taken me 28 years to come to a place of feeling good about myself and yet there are still areas I would like to be more confident in. It is a journey, a process – it is being human.
Let’s start on a positive note. These are some of the changes that happened for me as my self esteem grew.
Benefits of Growing Your Self Esteem
What It Took For Me To Grow
For me it was getting to the point where I didn’t like the person I had become and recognising that I was on a downward track leading to goodness knows where. I hated the things I was doing, hated the loneliness, and hated the circus that was going on in my head. (If you are experiencing moderate to severe depression or other mental health challenges you may need to seek some professional help first. However any small victories in building your self esteem will always make you a stronger person). So these are some of the keys to bringing change my life:
Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY!
In Part 2 we will look at the practical things I did to build my self esteem.
Now I don’t want to leave you with all the heavy stuff, so here are some positives I’ve discovered about my world.