saving your relationship when you work together

Hubby and I have been working together now since 2009. In that time we have had some massive adjustments to make in our relationship to keep it in a healthy space. We had some doozy arguments over those years, and it took effort on both our parts to make it work.
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While these were challenges we had in our business life together, they did create a positive flow-on effect into our home life and marriage. Out of those years, and our current time working together we have tried to put all the points below into practice. We're still not perfect of course.  We still interrupt each other, have misunderstandings and get frustrated. The important thing is that we consistently try to do our best and always try to honor and respect each other.

Some of the relationship builders below may already be points of conflict rather than togetherness in your relationship. Why not take this blog as an opportunity for you both to initiate a conversation that will bring agreement and strength into your relationship, and restore the enjoyment of working together.

A great deal of prayer and soul searching went in from me over this time and still does. I've had to deal with my wrong attitudes and old wounds, and stay open to the prompting of the Holy Spirit about any other areas where I was contributing to any negative issues in our relationship. 

Relationship Builders

1. Decide that your relationship will always be the most important thing, and if it’s showing signs of strain for  either of you, then it’s time to sit down and talk.
2. Decide together what your marriage, family, community and work/business priorities will be. What are the criteria you will use for making priority decisions?. Share the household and child care duties.
3. Always, always keep the communication lines open no matter how difficult the conversation or topic might be.
4. Learn to recognise each other’s stress triggers and have strategies you can use to minimise it. Give each  other the right to respectfully point out when you need to take a break.
5.  Never belittle, denigrate, run down, criticise or gossip about each other to others.
6.  Don’t interrupt each other. Remember when you’re at work you are colleagues, not living partners.  Professionalism is the rule.
7.  Celebrate your achievements and victories together, big or small. Have some ideas in the background of how  you might do that.
8.  Plan your business day together. This gives you understanding of what the other person’s day will be like and  you will be more likely to give them time and consideration.
9.  Leave work at work if you possibly can. If you need to take time in the weekend to discuss business, go out for  a coffee and then leave it at the front door when you come back.
10.  Plan regular dates and mutually enjoyable holidays.
11.  Respect each other’s need to also have time with the ‘boys’ or ‘girls’. We all need some space of our own from  time to time.
12.  Show respect, gratitude, honor and appreciation towards each other.
13.  If you can afford to, employ a gardener, lawn mower service, house cleaner, dog walker etc to give you more  time for your family and relationship. For women who work full time, an uncared for home is a huge stress  factor.
14.  Have someone outside your business who you can discuss your challenges and business with. This helps to  keep a more balanced perspective on your business life and can act as a safety valve knowing that someone  else cares and can support you both.

You Must Take Time Out and Have SupportWhen we eventually sold this business, it was not until we stopped that we realised we were actually burnt out, especially hubby. It took nearly a year for him to start feeling half human again. We had not recognised that we had been running on adrenaline, especially in the last 18 months when our suppliers were beginning to play dirty with us and our margins were going down rapidly.

The ongoing effect of this sustained period of adrenaline rush, even 3 years later, is that we still have days when we just crash. Our minds are not so quick off the mark anymore because when you burn out you burn neural pathways in your brain that can only take a miracle to repair. We would not have survived had it not been for someone who went out of his way to visit us regularly and lend a listening ear, encouragement and advice.
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It is extremely important when you are in a high pressure situation over a prolonged period that you take enough time out,

• and that you have people around you to support you. This also applies when you are in a work or family situation.
• Sustained stress will take its toll, so you must put a plan into action to look after yourself.

Are there are other strategies that you have in place to keep your relationship in a healthy place?  I would love to hear them. Drop me comment below.

Blessings
Fiona