Healing your self esteem is just plain hard work. Sorry to break that to you. But I also know that you have what it takes inside of you to change your state and become a much happier and fulfilled person. After all there are so many famous people we know who have overcome extreme adversity in their lives to go on and become world changers – you are able to be one of those also.
Practical Steps to Healing
In Part 1 we looked at the benefits and some of the challenges of beginning the journey into self esteem wellness. I want to now give you a few practical things that helped me.
I wanted to get real about the journey of healing our self esteem, because there are so many fluffy, make-it-sound-easy quick fixes on the internet. Of course there is truth in most of it and it is all helpful, but I’m a rubber-hits-the-road kind of gal and I’ve discovered that true commitment to change comes when a client understands the fullness of the effort and courage it will take them to grow. This blog is written out of my own journey to healthier self esteem and of course does not cover everything. As there is so much content to this subject I am going to spread it over two blogs.
It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s that I really began to consciously work on growing my self esteem. The inspiration to do that came from work mates who assumed I had more confidence and self esteem than I actually did. That coincided with a reality check about who and what I was becoming. It kind of gave me something to live up to on the inside. The most powerful thing you can do to lift someone’s self esteem is to believe the best about them and love them back to life. That means looking past the behaviours they use to create self protective walls and gently loving them unconditionally. When I was 30 I began my journey with God and that accelerated my healing a great deal. After many years, God is still revealing more layers that have been hidden but I can finally say that a lot of my insecurity has now gone. It is a journey, and we are not to beat ourselves up because we 'aren't there yet'.
Identity is all we have. It is who we are, what defines us, how we see ourselves and how others see us. It is the sum of all that has been and all we can be – EXCEPT when we are in Christ and Sons and Daughters of God. We all know that we become a new creation in Christ when we acknowledge Him as Lord and Saviour. It is a journey that takes place revelation by revelation, restoration by restoration as we grow into our true identity in Him.
Today I want to talk about some identity snares that we can that can trip us up on this journey of walking into our new identity in Him. Let me give you a couple of examples to illustrate what that can look like.
'Someone pushed my button and I let them have it'!
It has happened to all of us, even the most ‘altogether’ of us – someone does or says something to us and we transform into a monster. People push our big red button.
The worst part of all – the best button-pushers are those we love the most – our family and close friends. They’ve learnt our touchy spots. Others can push our buttons too. They think we’re just the nicest person in their world, until wham! they push our button without even realising what they’re doing, and we’ve turned on them and bitten their heads right off!
It doesn’t matter how mature we are, how patient or if we have bags of self-control, we all have them and people will still touch our sensitive spots when we least expect it.